Last Chance to Change
by MyrcellaBaratheon
Summary: Returning to Hogwarts for her seventh year, Lily Evans learns that maybe James Potter isn't as pig-headed as he used to be. Can she put past grudges behind her?


_I love books._

_One of my favourite authors, Victor Hugo once said; "books are cold but safe friends."_

_I both adore and disagree with this statement. On one hand, it gives books a certain level of personification, which I think a lot of people need. after all, these are dark times to be living in. Stories are a safe haven, an escape. If you let them, they can be a beacon of hope. A flame is kindled as soon as you begin the first sentence, and as you continue, it changes from candlelight into a wildfire, igniting your brain, and your heart. All we need to do is pluck it from its place on the shelf, curl up, (preferably with tea) and disappear into another world._

_The part that I think is open to debate however, is the word 'safe'. Are books really safe? I mean sure, if a part is too sad, or scary we can close them and try to forget what we have just read, but it never really leaves us, does it? If your favourite character has just suffered a great loss, one that may change them forever, make them darker, or just leave them in horrific, tear-jerking agony, are you really going to recover anytime soon? This person may be fictional, but you have created a bond with them, one that cannot be broken, nor forgotten, simply by shoving the book aside and trying not to think about the losses you both have suffered._

_On the other hand, life is not fun if we play it safe. We, as human beings, strive for knowledge and adventure. A book can show us that, and so much more. It can teach us that even the smallest can make a huge difference. After all, was it not Frodo and Sam, two average hobbits, that took the ring to Mordor and destroyed it in the fires of Mount Doom? (I don't see how I could spoil that for anybody, first of all it's my private diary, second of all, the bloody book's been out for over two decades already, how can you not know what happens?!) Stories also teaches us important life lessons such as-_

"LILY!"

Crap.

"What is it Tuney?" I called out weakly, not in the mood for another one of her rants.

"THAT DEMONIC BIRD OF YOURS IS IN MY ROOM AGAIN!"

With a sigh, I shoved my diary under my pillow and opened the door. Sure enough, there was flapping and screeching coming from across the hall. From Petunia I mean. My owl, Poe, was sitting on top of the wardrobe, managing to wear a disdainful look while keeping a letter clamped in his beak. He gazed at the scene beneath him as if he was used to this madness, which he probably was at this point.

Tuney and I switched rooms last summer, giving me the smaller one, (because she needed more closet space. "and after all, she's at that freak school of hers for most of the year anyway!") Poe is a rather intelligent bird if I do say so myself, and I know he only continues to fly in through that window simply for the sake of scaring the hell out of my sister. Merlin, I love that bird.

I strode across the landing and into Petunia's room. Upon seeing me, Poe ruffled his inky-black feathers and took flight, swooping across the hall and into my room in the blink of an eye.

I folded my arms across my chest and quirked an eyebrow at my sister. "Problem solved?"

She was breathing heavily, a slightly deranged look in her eyes. "Keep that wretched animal of yours out of my room! He nearly landed on my new dress. My _new _dress. I'm supposed to be going out with Vernon later Lily!"

I rolled my eyes. Petunia may be extremely annoying, but she was still my sister and she deserved better than _Vermin_. The man did nothing but complain. Merlin's Pants, the most interesting thing I'd ever heard him talk about was drills! With that little piece of information, I rest my case.

I glanced around the room, and saw the overwhelming amount of dresses practically spilling out of the wardrobe. "Tuney, surely you would have found _something_ else to wear?" I was exasperated to say the least. How many dresses did one person need?

"Of course not Lily, he's taking me to meet his parents." She snapped.

"And?"

"And none of my other dresses are appropriate for meeting parents!"

"Tuney," I gestured to the one she was to wear, "you have that exact same dress in blue."

"Yes, but that shade of blue drains me something terrible. I can't have them thinking I'm some recluse that spends all of her time inside." She shot me a pointed look.

I had already filled up my quota for 'sibling shouting matches' with her at breakfast this morning, and again at dinner, so I chose to ignore the jibe. I turned on my heel and exited the room, strode across the hall and into my own room, slamming the door shut behind me.

Poe was back in his cage, and had dropped the letter on my bed. After shoving a handful of bird seed into his cage, I went to open the letter, recognising the familiar looping handwriting immediately.

_Dear Lily, how have you been? I myself-_

_ah to hell with the formalities, I've got big news. Like, majorly big news. Are you ready? Of course you are. Well, here it goes: I snogged Sirius Black._

I dropped the letter in shock. What? Marlene McKinnon snogged Sirius? I mean, Marlene was hardly innocent, she had been with more boys than I had fingers and toes, but Sirius Black? She hated the bloke!

I picked the letter up again.

_Are you done screaming? _

I snorted. Marls always thinks that everyone is as vocal with their shock as she is.

_I didn't mean to at first, but Dorcas was having that pool party, _

Dorcas Meadows' pool party? That was 3 weeks ago!

_and Merlin's Beard Lily, fit doesn't begin to do that boy justice. Just thinking of those abs..._

_Well, after a few firewhiskeys, we started talking like two people that actually got along, when he kissed me. His lips, they just came out of nowhere I swear! It's like, you know when you were a baby, and your parents used to feed you by pretending the spoon was an aeroplane? It was like that._

Okay, now I'm getting really weird mental images of Sirius' lips completely disembodied from his face and just floated around in front of Marlene... stop it brain. Don't go down that road...

_Anyway, I felt like I needed to tell you because you're my best mate and I felt weird keeping it from you. Don't worry, it was nothing serious, a one time thing if you will. He stills pisses me off loads, but he's got a nice face and a six pack. How was I supposed to resist?_

_But enough about me, how has your week been? Petunia still driving you batty?_

_Lots of love and kisses from your best friend in the world who misses you loads and hopes you aren't mad at her for keeping this a secret from you,_

_Marlene xxx_

I sighed. I knew Marlene was telling the truth about it being a fling. Marls avoided steady relationships like Devil's Snare avoids sunlight. One mention of commitment and she was gone. She even turned down Caradoc Dearborn, known for being one of the hottest guys at our school, when he asked her for a second date.

Anyway, what was I doing earlier? Oh right, books.

I picked up my pen and began to write again.

_Friendship, honour, and-_

_ok, you may be wondering why I am writing about this, and to be honest, the only reason is:_

_They make a good distraction._

_You see, a few weeks ago I decided that maybe I like James Potter. Just a tiny bit. Minuscule really. It's not even that I like him, more that I don't think he's as much of a prat as I used to._

_Now you're probably thinking, "But Lily, why would this affect you so much that you need to distract yourself from it?" and the answer is, thanks to this small, insignificant realisation, I am now having a identity crisis._

_It's all James Potter's fault. Everything can be blamed on James Potter really; why did I get an Exceeds Expectations in the Transfigurations summer exam? James Potter was sitting in front of me, throwing paper aeroplanes at Sirius the whole time. Why do I dislike Potions? I'm partnered with James Potter. Why is there always a supply of firewhiskey hidden in the common room? James Potter. Why did dinosaurs become extinct? James Potter._

_Back to the identity crisis. You see, through all of my years at Hogwarts, there has been one thing that was constant. It wasn't the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, that's for sure, because weirdly enough, they change annually. Are we that hard to manage? Back to the point. The one thing that hasn't changed is my hostility towards James Potter. It's practically part of me by now. Who am I without it? Who is Lily Pott-EVANS! Who is Lily Evans?_

_Oh bloody hell, I might as well admit it now._

_I fancy James Potter._

_And you'd be surprised by how clichéd it was that I came to this realisation_

"Lily honey, tea's ready!"

I immediately dropped my pen and bounded down the stairs, taking them two at a time. If there was anything that could solve my emotional distress, it was tea.

"Slow down honey!" My mother chuckled as I burst into the room, probably resembling a rabid dog. "Is that my daughter or a herd of elephants?" Said my father from behind his newspaper.

"Very funny Dad." I shot him a glare as I sank into a chair at the table and lifted a mug to my lips. Ah bliss.

"Lily, do you know when your Hogwarts letter is going to arrive? I'll have to know soon if we are to go to Diagon Alley before I go on that trip to Spain with the girls."

My mum and her book club friends have decided go to Spain for a week to "expand their knowledge of Spanish literature", though how lying on a beach for 6 hours straight is going to help them learn about Pablo Neruda is lost to me. That reminds me, I must go to the library to return that book of poetry...

"Lily?"

I blinked. My mum was staring at me with an amused expression on her face. "You've been staring off into space for the past two minutes. Everything okay?"

"Of course," I assured her. "It should be here in the next couple of days, we should definitely be able to go get my supplies before Sunday."

"Oh good then. I was worried your father would have to take you in by himself, and we all know how that would have gone." She whispered in a conspiring voice.

"Hey!" My dad yelped indignantly. "It would have gone perfectly fine, thank you very much!"

"Dad," I rolled my eyes. "last time we were there, you tried to test out the new Cleansweep by _sweeping the floor._ You would have been stuck in the ceiling for ages, were they not wizards."

"And then," Mum chimed in, "you wandered down to Knockturn Alley! You're lucky you came out with all your fingers intact!"

"Alright, alright. I get the message." Dad slumped further down into his seat, hiding behind his newspaper. "Mock my misfortune why don't you?"

Mum and I exchanged a grin and I got up, bringing my tea with me of course, to return to my room and continue writing.

I sat down on my bed and took out my diary again. I could hear Tuney singing loudly and out of key from the other room. I looked at Poe, who seemed to be wincing.

_Anyway, I guess it all started at the beginning of sixth year..._


End file.
